The Pandasaurus
For Steven, who’s wall I randomly wrote this on….
Once upon a time, a long long time ago, japan used to sit ontop of china. Kinda like Sigil sits overtop of the Planes. (geek++) At that time all there was were dinosaurs, a monkey, a spider, and Dick Clark. Now Dick, being the nice guy that he is, was showing bloopers of “My Priordial Soup” and “All My Children I Didn’t Eat” for the spider and the monkey. He even invited all the dinosaurs. EXCEPT, for one little one. Now this one was black and white… (cause his mommy dropped him a lot. Too busy knocking back the bottle, if you know what I mean.) So the little spottysaurus was sad cause he wasn’t invided and wasn’t cool. So he cried, and cried, and wept and wallowed and bellyached and snivled and shrieked and carried on (much like this) and cried and cired till he turned blue and started choking. Then he stopped, caught his breath, aaaaand … started crying some more.
BUT, after all of that he got up and go mad. He said “And that is why you should never eat corkflakes! GOODBYE CRUEL FISHSTICK!” And walked off the edge of japan. But, because japan was overtop of china (and he was used to being dropped from high heights. I mean, c’mn, dinosaurs are tall.) he landed in a field of rice and had a very nice concusion-induced nap. When he woke up, he found the rice had stuck to him, but because he was so big, he rolled on it and streched it out till it was whispy thin. The poor little stoppysaurus was so upset and hurt and scared and confused by the rice he was covered in he kept rolling around trying to get it off. Not that he didn’t eat rice like every day, but this rice just wouldn’t get off of him, and it kept streching and streching. So finally, exhaused and coverd from head to toe in whispy rice strains, he fell asleep again. (Spottysauruses and narcaleptic, you know. Especially when they panic and fall several hundred miles from the sky.) When he woke up, he found he was still covered in the whispy rice, yet it had absorbed his black spots from his scales somehow. So tired was he of fighting that he gave up and grabbed the first thing he saw and started chewing so slowly on it. (About this time the brain damage was kicking in too.) Of course, (becuse this story wouldn’t make sense if he didn’t) he had grabbed bamboo and started chewing on it. So now he was a black and white furry dinousaur that was chewing on bamboo.
And that is the story of the Pandasaurus.