Fucking Saddlebackers
Dan Savage is at it again! After the wonderful perversion on Santorum, Dan Savage has been challenged to re-define Saddle Backing, and has gotten plenty of suggestions from his readers. So far, two definitions are in hot contention. The rest of this is NSFW so it’s behind the cut.
The two best definitions are:
2) “Saddleback (verb): to submit someone to any kind of humiliating, unreciprocal sex act, either literally or metaphorically, consented to by passive partner due to submissive/masochistic tendencies, desire for approval, or other darker motive. E.g., ‘I don’t know why Obama is letting Rick Warren saddleback him into presiding over his inauguration.’”
and
5) “‘Saddlebacking’ should be the term for the phenomenon of Christian teens engaging in unprotected anal sex in order to preserve their virginities. ‘After attending the Purity Ball, Heather and Bill saddlebacked all night because she’s saving herself for marriage.’ Please, please adopt this definition!”
I am heavily leaning on #5 because it is damn perfect, and that brainless act of anal sex to preserve virginity is downright hypocrytical, wrong, and just as dangerous for the transmission of STDs! Plus, it perfectly fits the Saddleback Church and their stupidly right-wing morals and insane abstinence education of most hard-line churches.
Now this leads me to the Duggard family. A wonderfuly bible belt, hard-line religious family with a baby factory mother and a house with 18 - 20 kids! While they seem nice enough on TV, the morals they apply are insanely hard-line and hypocrytical. Here you have a mother pumping out children as if she were a breeding cow, yet their eldest son is supported in his decision to save his first kiss for his wedding. Yes, his first kiss! Not just the sex, but all forms of affection for each other has been hardily prevented by chapperoned dates for years. Little do any of these bible thumpers know, sexual compatibility is a huge part of marriage!
Even better, the night before the wedding, the groom’s father, Mr. Duggard himself, decided it was time to, and I quote, “talk about the birds and the bees.” He’s getting married, and that is the queue for the sex-talk? Shit, I had to deal with that with my daughter recently, and she’s 10. Thus, he gave is son a book, and apparent DVD about “How to prepare for the wedding night.” Well how nice, dad’s been denying him, and now, the night before the wedding, he’s getting him a book on how to shag and not fuck it up. Well peachy, one book really makes up for years of misguided education on sex. Way to hypocrites!